The Full Force of Time
by Cezille07
Summary: Monogram gives Perry his most difficult assignment, and slowly the platypus loses faith in the people around him. Unknown to him, Doofenshmirtz is ready to lend his good old friend a hand...one final time. COMPLETE.
1. Hard Burned Routine

**The Full Force of Time**

_Cezille07_

Acknowledgements: Thanks to Pricat for inspiring some preliminary ideas for this, as well as confirming its 'originality'. ;)

Disclaimer: Since when have people who were labelled "too young" ever stopped trying to do the things they love to do? Well, since copyright, that's when. Okay? "Phineas and Ferb" is NOT mine. ;D

* * *

Chapter 1. Hard-Burned Routine.

Perry noted the kitchen clock read a little blurry. He had to squint to check the time properly. There was the computer watch—but not around the boys. Any minute now, the call would arrive. It would be none other than Major Monogram to announce another of Doofenshmirtz's incompetent attempts at conquering the Tri-state Area, if not to eradicate some silly whim his childhood bestowed. Perry sighed, rolling his unfocused eyes in the process. Phineas and Ferb were about to launch headlong into the dreary high school routines; not that it was a bad thing. It actually made running into his lair a little safer, less complicated. Once they were gone the house became what was less of a home—empty. The Doof would be the only action he'd witness in hours. Then again, knowing the doctor, the encounters couldn't even be considered "action" at all...

All of these, of course, are hard-burned routine.

"Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!" announced Phineas from the backyard. Perry sensed Ferb got up and followed his brother into the garage to begin work on their project. The platypus remained, under Lawrence's spot on the dining table, immobile except for the tiniest grin on his bill at the thought, _They'll never outgrow this habit..._

_Beep. _

There it was: the call. Peering over the table top on two legs now, he saw the coast was clear. This time, Carl had some new rookie install an entrance through the dish rack, which entailed a dish must be broken with the exact amount of force Perry had used as a sample in the lab. Linda wouldn't be happy with the mess, although she'll soon realize her dining-ware is complete and accounted for, and the fragments of china littered all over the floor was the fault of no one in her family. Perry found that decoy plate to break; standing before the sensor, he smashed it into oblivion. The sensor light blinked green, and the fedora-topped mammal hopped right down the chute that was revealed from under fake, mimicking tiles.

Midway, he thought he heard a distant male voice asking, "Hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

"Agent P, a very good morning," Mongram said, more cheerily than Perry had expected. "You're probably wondering what the reason is for the jovial attitude. Well, I won't beat around the bush anymore. We've studied Dr. Doofenshmirtz for years, since we've had you in our agency. And for once, Carl and I have come to a conclusion regarding his evil ways."

_Well, good. _

"Guess what? It's your fault!"

_W-what—?_

"No no no, I meant, it seems that, aside from the backstories you've painstakingly listened to, the cause of his actions are also his own self-esteem: he wants to see himself as important because top-caliber agents like you are hunting and trying to bring him down."

_Of course. I see him more often than his own daughter does. Ha, funny that his esteem should rely on me. But of course I knew that already..._

"Well, that's it for the good news. Now on to serious matters," continued the major, "Now that we know his weakness..."

"Nooooooo sir!" yelled Carl from off the camera shot.

"Shut up, Carl! You're ruining this moment!" snapped Monogram. He sighed. "Now since this is the case, we have just to give you one final assignment, Agent P."

Perry was ready. One final beat-up? Excellent. He'd be home in time for lunch—

"The forms I'm faxing you right now, just fill them up and we're all done."

Perry waited while the printer integrated into the mesh of buttons and controls before him spewed out neat papers with an ominous-looking title.

_Sir..._ Perry blinked. _Resignation forms...?_

_

* * *

_

_He's a semi-aquatic, egg-laying mammal of action!  
He's a furry little flatfoot who'll never flinch from the fray!_

_Ding!_

"Huh?" Doofenshmirtz banged the top of his CD player, and Perry's theme song jumped into a different stanza before completely stopping. "The doorbell? What is it now? Maybe Perry the platypus finally heard me out on not breaking too many windows..."

He got up, retrieving his lab coat hanging from a nearby chair, and shuffled to the front door.

"What's this?"

There was a gift-wrapped box sitting on the rug outside the door. There was no sign of the mailman. "Who could have left this?"

He inspected the box quickly, observing it from different angles; it was small, barely large enough to contain a bag of chips or the magazine bundle he ordered from the Evil Society. But as for a note or any hint of its sender, the box gave no clue.

Heinz closed the door warily. "I'm not letting my guard down, Perry the platypus; I know you're clever and all, but I learn too!"

But a long minute elapsed. His nemesis was surprisingly absent. He returned to the recliner and dumped the package by his feet. "I guess it's his day off. Well good. I can go straight into my plan for the day," he said, addressing the box. "What am I going to do today? Well it's a grand scheme, for today I will infiltrate the OWCA headquarters and expose Monogram and his freak agents. Of course, without Perry, that will be an easy task," he trailed off, then frowned. "But that means I can't use my Trackerinator to find Perry's hideout and the headquarters. Argh, what kind of plan is this?"

He stood up. "Hmph, well I can...go driving around the suburbs, yes, to find some inspiration. What other things did my father do to me? I must do something, something evil—but what?"

His gaze turned to his silent audience, the box. "Or fine, I can open you."

The plain blue-green paper wrapping and the silver ribbon, he threw behind him in a flurry of restless excitement. The motion, however, quickly decelerated to a full, open-mouthed stop when he beheld a very particular brown hat. A brown hat with a black stripe, a striking reminder of the very animal who always wore it on business visits to him.

Heinz dropped the item; his hands had gone numb at the touch of the textile object. A piece of paper fluttered free from inside the fedora. He moved rigidly to catch it. The writing was small and neat, an expert script by a hand of practiced finesse.

_Goodbye. –P_

Doofenshmirtz's eyes instantly watered. He picked up the hat and realized how tiny it was, and yet it fit perfectly on Perry's head. Perry! _What did this mean—goodbye?_

He rigorously shook his head. How many things had been forcibly taken away from him? His childhood? His girlfriends? His pride? And now the only creature who ever even listened to his ramblings about his cruel past?

* * *

Perry almost crashed into a tree in the Danville park; his left hand lost grip of the hang glider. Of all the days for his trusty hover car to run out of gas! Naturally he couldn't have stopped by a regular gas station for fuel. It's for things like these he was thankful the OWCA took care of everything. From acquiring new intel on Doof, to cleaning up his lair, to repairing his regularly holed and tattered costume, the trademark agent hat, his fedora. That included free gas every now and then, but he supposed Carl was busy taking care of his papers to remember...

Hanging from a tree, he swung gracefully into the air, perfected a double backward flip, and landed on two feet. No one was looking. Good. He assumed the platypus façade and began the short trudge back to Maple Street.

The park was a stretch of grass and proud trees haphazardly planted here and there. The oaks towered, but not high enough, not so clumped together enough, to mask the tall edifice he had just left, Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.

He felt compelled to admit that Monogram was right, the way he was right about everything. Even concerning non-business trivia, like that vase Doofenshmirtz planned to give him for Christmas some years ago. No one can refute the reason he headed the OWCA, and it had been that way for a long time. A very long time. And yet for the same reason, the weak platypus heart inside him turned bitterly to think the major was being overly considerate for once.

He was right. Perry was the best agent they had, but Perry was also just a platypus. How often did platypuses survive outside their natural habitat, much less survive being shipped overseas to become some zoo's public spectacle? How often did platypuses even confront evil face to face on a daily basis?

He was right. Perry had been in service to the agency before he turned a year old. That meant he had been agent for most of his life, ever since the Flynn-Fletcher family took him into their care—not knowing a major had secretly bypassed international laws on platypus domestication.

Monogram was right.

He was _always_ right.

So when he says, no matter how apologetically, that Perry was just getting old, that was the final word.

* * *

A/N: Okay, first chapter done! What do you think? Please leave a review before you close this tab/window. ;D


	2. They Don't Because They Can't

**The Full Force of Time**

_Cezille07_

A/N: I'm sorry, more than sorry, for keeping you waiting. _Je pr__é__sente_..._le deuxi__è__me chapitre_. ;D

* * *

Chapter 2. They Don't...Because They Can't.

The evening air bit with a horrid sting. The damp grass under the backyard tree leaked the cold into what was once enough as a single layer of thick fur, and Perry shuddered a little. He didn't want to have to see the old clock again, mocking his inability to see as clearly as before. But judging solely by temperature, about sixty degrees Fahrenheit, it was about past midnight. The time when even the busiest streets slowed down for a few hours' break, and the most tireless of children travelled into a paradise of dreams.

He sighed. The empty moon smiled sadly upon his limp, restless form. Perry curled up as tightly as he could against himself. _What am I doing here? Phineas and Ferb had probably been waiting for me the whole day._

No sooner than he finished the thought phrase, the wooden backdoor creaked open, and the boys emerged wearing their pajamas.

"Oh, there you are, Perry," said Phineas, his voice colored with relief and sleepiness, as he and Ferb took seats on opposite sides of the platypus. "Ferb was starting to worry you had run off again, but I told him you'd never leave. Isn't that right?" he finished in a smile.

Perry relaxed. There was the question of what they were doing awake at the hour. But at least _they_ knew he was a permanent part of this family, that he belonged in this exceptional, suburban house no matter what.

"But don't tell me you've been sitting here all this time; that's totally against our anti-boredom summer campaign," Phineas gestured with his arms. "We've been seizing the short time we've been given and you just sit here—go off and come back from someplace we have yet to discover—and do nothing. Not that we're complaining, of course, we know you're just a platypus."

_...'Just' a platypus...?_

"What's wrong, Perry? You're looking a little sad."

Perry looked up at Phineas, then at Ferb. He couldn't tell them if he wanted to, even if they'd wanted him to. But there was something in their earnest, grown-up looks that always rested his guard...

Ferb began stroking Perry's furry back, and the little mammal released a sigh. "Phineas, he's cold," said the elder brother.

"Want some milk, Perry?" offered the younger, instantly on his feet. "C'mon, we'll get you some."

Perry crawled into Ferb's arms, and the latter continued the stroking while Phineas led the way inside, heated some milk on a small pan, and poured it into Perry's bowl.

"Aww, isn't he cute when he's lapping up that milk?" commented Phineas after they had set up their pet at the end of the dining table. Ferb gave a chanced grin and replied, "He always is."

The platypus made no visible response to this. But ten minutes later, as he lay motionless on Ferb's bed, sandwiched between the two boys embracing each other, he settled that it was a remarkable moment. They both said they loved him before dozing off. And yet, strangely, the sinking feeling in his chest hadn't vanished at all.

* * *

"_Vanessa, honey, I'll be back for you this weekend. Promise me you'll behave, alright?" _

_The teenager rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure, mom, whatever." _

_Charlene got out of the driver's seat and opened the trunk. "Are you gonna get your own stuff or shall I call room service?" _

_Vanessa groaned. If there was one thing she hated, it was having to waste weekends with her ridiculous father. And now Charlene expected her to be a good girl and sit tight with that evil freak for longer than the legally-settled two days. A _full_ week, almost. Without moving from the passenger seat, she grumbled, "Tell me again why you desperately want to join this outreach?" _

"_It's for charity! And besides, the entire cooking class is going! Right after this I'll pick up Linda and we'll go together to that orphanage. We'll make healthy meals for the kids, and teach them a little of good eating while we're at it," the mother explained eagerly. "I wish you could join me, dear."_

"_I wish I could find some better thing to do than waste away in this dump, but cooking just ain't my thing," muttered Vanessa. She kicked open the car door to stalk irritably to her mother, haul her bags, and dump them on the sidewalk. _

"_Honey?" Charlene tapped her shoulder. _

Now you want a goodbye kiss? Not in this lifetime._ "You're gonna be late. See you." _

* * *

Perry was fiddling with his trusty computer watch.

But that Saturday, it was anything _but_ trusty.

He hadn't tried using it since the big resign; it shouldn't have startled him if he had done that right away, but it didn't cross his mind. _Why won't you work?_ he asked it, tapping the miniscule button that was supposed to bring up the holographic keyboard and screen. Nothing.

"Hey, where's Perry?"

Two shadows came around the corner, and the split second before the boys appeared, Perry used to shift his mindset—_I'm just a regular platypus. _

"Oh, there you are," breathed Phineas. Turning to Ferb, he added, "Well, that was fast."

Perry looked up at his two owners. _Fast?_ It was inherent routine for all those summers! He couldn't remember a single time they had almost caught him. Nor could he remember being cut off just like so from the OWCA.

"Y'know, I've been wondering," Phineas said, kneeling down to pet the platypus, "this entire week...Perry hasn't been disappearing at all."

_That's not so bad, is it?_

"You know what I mean? It's...the unalterable flow of nature. Every day of summer, we're supposed to note at some point in the day he's turned up at some other end of the universe for all we know," the redhead addressed Perry.

_

* * *

_

_Vanessa opened the door to her father's residence, high up inside the infamous DEI building, and was, for the first time in a long while, amused by what she saw. _

"_Nice Inator," she said, indicating the awkward shape of the large mechanism in the middle of the room. "So, what does it do?" _

"_Oh, my baby girl, look at you! You're here! And it's not even a weekend yet," Heinz greeted, running to his daughter. _

"_Didn't mom tell you? She's on this outreach which should last until the weekend. She said she'll pick me up then." The girl avoided her father's weak attempts at embracing her, and pressed, "Ahem, so the invention?" _

"_Right, this old thing." He swallowed. "I invented it because...well, I don't remember exactly. I was brooding about something terribly depressing, so I created the Despair-inator! Whoever is happier than me shall suffer being hopelessly sad!" _

"_Interesting. Now, why is it shaped like a hat?" _

_Both of them looked at the machine, wordless for a full minute. _

"_I...don't remember exactly," Heinz uttered. "I know I was brooding about it the whole day yesterday..."_

* * *

Right then, Lawrence walked into the backyard with a stack of dusty books. "Hello, boys! What're you doing today?"

"We haven't decided so far," answered Phineas. "How 'bout you, dad?"

"See these old volumes? The library has owed me this collection for _ages_, only it seems to have been excessively borrowed these days," Lawrence told them. "I just dropped by and finally they were available! I'm a lucky bloke, aren't I? But I'd better get reading, a week is a short time for ten encyclopedias on monotreme evolution."

"Wow, monotremes?"

"Perry's one," Ferb noted.

"Well, dad, speaking of platypuses..." Phineas paused, looking at Perry. "Maybe you can help us figure out why Perry isn't off to his great adventures yet."

"What do you mean?" asked their father, but he already set down his burden on the grass and crouched for a good look at the platypus.

"He's just been here, living out the appropriate definition of platypus activity, the 'they don't do much' part. Perry, as we know him, is a bit more 'mysterious' with regard to his disappearing feats," Phineas elaborated, watching his father.

"Oh, worry not, he's fine," Lawrence smiled, gently patting Perry before standing up. "You see, Perry _is_ a platypus. Like any creature...they have an expected...life span."

"Life span?" chorused the boys.

"A bit over ten years. You remember when we got Perry, don't you? You boys were toddlers and he was just fresh out of his egg. I can't remember a happier group than the three of you staring at each other for whole afternoons. But now—I've got to get to these books," the adult excused himself. "We'll have lunch in an hour, 'kay?"

"...Life span?" Phineas said in awe, "B-but Perry's _immortal_!" He wondered if the horrified look he wore was that obvious, and if Ferb was also seeing the similarly shocked expression on Perry's face.

* * *

Vanessa removed the earphones and observed the striking silence. Something was off. She got out of bed and took a peek outside her old room. "Dad?" she called. There was no answer.

She wandered into the living room, out the hallway, and in her father's bedroom. Empty. She exhaled. There was only one place left, and that was the 'evil' lair, one floor up.

She would have laughed aloud some other time, but Heinz was rocking himself, curled up in fetal position beside what used to be the Despair-inator, which had now become a gigantic watch. Upon closer inspection—yes, he was doing it!—the full shame of thumb-sucking.

"This...is humiliating. I'll be back when you're evil again," Vanessa declared to the distraught man. Her quick steps carried her outside the large room, but not before Heinz cried out, "Wait, Vanessa, I _am_ evil!"

And in that moment, his daughter was a terrifying reminder of Charlene, hands on her waist, and using that very tone of voice. "Okay, then what's this act you're putting up?"

He straightened himself and cleared his throat. "Well, you remember my nemesis, Perry the platypus? He isn't here yet..."

"_...And?_"

"Well, if there's no one to foil my evil schemes...where's the fun in that?"

"Ugh! You are _such_ a failure!" Vanessa finally yelled. "You're...you're a _rag_! A dirty, old, _useless_ rag!"

"You—how dare you? My own flesh and blood...?" Heinz crossed his arms. "Okay okay, you're right..." he sighed, "I...I've _got_ to find him."

The teenager rolled her eyes.

"Don't you roll your darling eyes, young lady, you're coming _with_ me!"

* * *

Monogram stood before the large monitor, and grinned. The screen was divided into sixty-four smaller blocks, each showing a live video feed of Doofenshmirtz's building from the many hidden cameras outside.

"Now, Carl, what did I tell you about the Doof? He hasn't left his turf in days. And not a _single_ online purchase, just like I predicted. He stopped the moment he realized Agent P isn't coming," he gloated.

Carl wiped his sweaty brows with the sleeve of his uniform. He missed working the camera for Monogram and Perry, but lately, the most work he'd been doing concerned hardware removal, rendering all of Perry's cleverly hidden shortcuts to the lair inaccessible. Just now, he finished applying the remote signal remover to the last gadget Perry owned, the computer watch.

"Or maybe Dr. Doofenshmirtz just felt like doing nothing," the intern suggested timidly.

"Nonsense! Psycho minds don't work that way."

"I beg to differ, but he's not a psycho. Deep down, he's just a sad, maltreated boy."

"I'm not paying you to sympathize with the enemy!"

"Well, technically, you're not paying me at all—"

"_Just_ get back to work and make sure there's no way for Agent P to contact us ever again!" Monogram crossed his arms, grinning smugly. Espionage was a secret profession. The protocol with old files? Burn them, and burn their ashes. The protocol for old agents? Well, Perry was professional; they didn't have to, but removing the passages was just a safeguard for the agency. And with Doofenshmirtz behaving, things were indeed much better than he initially expected. "If all continues well...we'll take the week off," he called to his subordinate, "a _long_ week off."

* * *

Perry whiled away time by staring at the rock nearest his bill. _Life span this, life span that._ Phineas had gone on the _whole_ morning about his age. He hissed at the rock. He wasn't going _anywhere_...

"Perry, Perry? Where are you, boy? Ferb and I want to show you something," Phineas called. They both came out into the backyard carrying large, new blueprints. "We've got a great idea for how you can spend these final years in comfort. Perry?"

'_Final years'—what are you talking about? _Perry ducked under the garden hose and waited.

The brothers paused three feet away. "Hmm, he couldn't have left _now_. Anyway, we'll have what's left of his life to send him back to his natural habitat. Home is where anyone should be spending their final months...or days..." Phineas trailed off.

Perry clenched his fists, groaning silently; only the hose seemed available to clobber. _'Home'? But this _is_ my home, with you both! I don't want to go back to those people who killed off my family and sent me here! Phineas, _why_?_

"Oh well. I guess we should check upstairs." Phineas led the way, Ferb following in step.

There was a _clunk_ from inside; Perry didn't care what it was—he didn't want to know. If only Candace hadn't moved to her dormitory early for college, she'd be ahead of him in telling Lawrence what outrageous schemes they were brewing. It couldn't be worse than any of Doofenshmirtz's—

_Doofenshmirtz! _The idea was insane, but right now, anything was better than getting shipped back to Australia.

* * *

"We'll find him..."

"Eventually, you mean," scowled Vanessa. The wind whipping her hair into her face was dry and warm; noontime had descended, but their drawn-out, scooter-borne search had so far yielded nothing. "I _so_ should have gone with mom on that cooking outreach," she sighed.

Heinz said nothing, his head flicking left and right in a raring lookout for Perry.

"How do you even know he's still here in Danville? If he's quit on you—"

"He hasn't!" yelled Heinz. Vanessa received the cold glare he sent through the back of his dirty-white helmet. He didn't have to actually look at her. She felt the indignant fervor radiating from him, pulsing angrily—at her, at the apparent heat of the day, at the uneven asphalt that slowed their speed. "I just know, okay?" the doctor continued irritably, and it almost worked: he managed to silence her, but as for convincing himself...

"Hmph." Vanessa crossed her arms. There was little use arguing with her father in this state; he was, as far as she knew, the only one more stubborn than herself. "Well good luck," she groaned, casting the neat line of residences around them a bitter glance. "Hang on—"

"Perry the platypus?" clamored her father, bringing their vehicle to a terse halt.

"_No_, ugh! Just leave me alone! I'm going to see an old friend," yelled Vanessa, but she had already hopped off the back of the scooter and was heading for a yellow house to their left.

Heinz grumbled as he restarted the engine, but it wouldn't power up. "Curse this old thing," he muttered under his breath. _Leave the 'failure', leave the 'rag'. Always the most considerate of people, she is._ He kicked the tires, and the entire scooter fell into pieces. "Perfect!" he grunted, pocketing his hands. He looked at the long road ahead. He had barely covered a quarter of the Tri-state area, and Perry could be _anywhere_...

Releasing the loudest scream he could muster, he picked up the front wheel and hurled it at the end of the street. "Perry the platypus, where _are_ you?"

The wheel bounced twice before rolling unsteadily away from him. He watched its wobbly motion until it knocked against a small animal that had abruptly crossed the street—

An animal with striking, turquoise fur.

* * *

A/N: Bad Phineas! Bad Phineas! (And Ferb too, by extension.) How _dare_ you make Perry run away? When will you realize that you're not the only ones who could love him? Answer is: next chapter! Stick around 'til then, and in the meantime, please review! ;D


	3. For Your Smile

**The Full Force of Time**

_Cezille07_

A/N: Remember the summary? "Monogram gives Perry his most difficult assignment (Chapter 1), and slowly, the platypus starts to lose faith in the people around him (Chapter 2). Unknown to him, Doofenshmirtz is ready to give his good old friend a hand...one final time (Chapter3)." What does the last sentence even mean, you ask? Just...read this. ;D

* * *

Chapter 3. For Your Smile.

"Uhhm...sit tight, okay? I'll...be with you shortly."

The words hung in the warm, stale air filling Doofenshmirtz's cozy room, where Perry was left unguarded by the doctor. The platypus breathed in the awful smell of dirty clothes and fresh mud on the carpet. Doofenshmirtz was doing a bad job at keeping after himself, Perry thought, a smirk playing on his bill.

He was tired.

Laying his head on the sole, worn pillow on the bed, he visualized himself as the doctor, endlessly tossing and turning through each night, trying to figure out some miraculous invention that would rid the world of the one dent in his otherwise "perfect" schemes: Perry, the same Perry captive right now, helpless, but not even _trying_ to escape.

He got up and unlocked the window; the burst of afternoon heat drafted into the room, shocking his hands off the sill. He stood for a moment, absorbing the scene. He was Agent P, for crying out loud—nothing and no one "shocked" him. And again his thoughts wandered to that forbidding underground lair where a selfish major had put an end to his blissful days.

"You've got some explaining to do."

The door had opened. There Heinz stood, a wireless microphone in one hand and a speaker in the other. "This was my old Translatorinator, the one I used for the whales, if you recall. With a little tweaking I was able to calibrate it to understand your platypus noise."

When Perry didn't move, Heinz tapped his right foot and made a childish frown. "What? Let's get a move on! Life is short, you know!"

Perry closed his eyes and shook his head. "Life is short"? The doctor was being unfair simply by reminding him what was at stake. He exhaled slowly, counting the few steps' distance between him and the one man who could possibly understand him.

* * *

Ferb held the door open to his and Phineas' room, and Vanessa quietly walked toward him.

"I'm glad to see you again," she began, waiting for his permission to sit somewhere. "The events that led me to here and now are so inexplicably random and inconsequential."

"Nothing is inconsequential," he winked, leading her to the study tables by the window, where a busy redhead was adding some final touch-ups to the day's blueprints. "Phineas, we've got a visitor."

Phineas looked up and saw his step-brother gulp for certain. All he couldn't understand was the constant flush in his naturally calm face. "Hi miss," he said, but kept watching Ferb's newfound anxiety.

"Hi, I'm Vanessa...Vanessa Doofenshmirtz."

"Hi Vanessa," Phineas said, extending his hand to shake hers. For a fleeting moment, Ferb's eyes flickered in something he could only place as jealousy.

"You don't think my name is funny, do you?" asked Vanessa.

"Not at all!"

The lady smiled. "Then it's nice to meet you."

* * *

Perry heaved a sigh and was about to say his first intelligible word, but Doofenshmirtz broke out with, "Wait! Something's missing!"

He ran off to the store room, and when he returned, a reverent look enshrouded his face. Perry got to his feet and saw the item Doofenshmirtz was holding; before he got the chance, the doctor eagerly placed the object on its rightful place: the hat only belonged on Perry's head.

"Aww, Heinz...!"

Both of them stopped at the last word, each covering mouth and bill with a shaking hand.

Doofenshmirtz was the first to regain his speech: "You actually call me 'Heinz' in your head, Perry the platypus?"

The animal blushed. "You actually kept this old thing," answered Perry, adjusting the fedora. "You never used to recognize me without this. As if any other platypus could care less about a dysfunctional scientist. You never fail to surprise me, after all these years."

"Back at you. Now, what's the deal with not showing up? I can only get so worried before I start getting cardiac problems." Doofenshmirtz offered a cheesy grin, scratching his head self-consciously in the process.

* * *

They continued down the hallway, past the living room, and out into the warm, afternoon film of sunshine that cloaked Danville. The man submerged in the volumes of encyclopedias noticed none of them, Phineas, Ferb, and Vanessa, tiptoeing around him.

"Funny, I've only seen one other person so engrossed in—is that monotreme evolution?" murmured Vanessa, but Phineas quickly put his index finger over his lips and crept even more quietly, as an example, toward the backdoor. _Later,_ he mouthed. Smiling, he subconsciously grabbed Ferb's hand and tugged to get the three of them moving faster.

As they reached the open space of the backyard, Vanessa placed her hands behind her back and inhaled. Fresh air. She had been stuck inside her old room in what her father called a 'home', for nearly a week, the full week she waited out by listening to MP3's on her archaic, first-generation iPod. This iPod, she hadn't used at all ever since Heinz bought it for her in lieu of the promised car once she turned eighteen. A _first-generation _iPod_, _in all its pixelated glory. She had openly cringed in front of her parents, her lips strained into the fakest smile she'd ever put on, and threw it under her bed later. She hadn't found a reason to use it until earlier this week out of boredom. Luckily, either Norm or her father himself synced the Doofania anthem along with a couple of other songs, a hit by PFT and Perry the platypus' theme song.

"So, what's on your mind?"

Phineas' cheery voice wrenched her mind back to earth.

"Oh, sorry. I just needed a deep breath," she lied. She could tell that he didn't believe her; Ferb actually displayed a hint of curiosity.

"Okay. Well, what brings you here?"

"A wild goose-chase. Or specifically, a platypus-chase." The response was an honest outburst of instinctive truth. She snickered, but she knew she ought to have said less. After all, Perry was a 'secret' agent. Then again, they were his 'owners'.

"Did you come across one with turquoise fur, a beak a tint above orange, and unfocused brown eyes?"

"Whoa, you seem to be missing a platypus too."

"Yeah. Perry has been our pet for more than ten years," Phineas answered, his eyes lost in some misty, childhood memory.

Vanessa tried not to raise an eyebrow, but the sentence sent an upsurge of realizations: Perry? THE Perry the platypus? The same Perry whose theme song Heinz played regularly on the faulty CD player and even put on her iPod? _That _Perry the platypus?

"Sorry, we didn't." And it was true. She took off before they got the chance to even 'look' properly, before Heinz had a second to explain himself.

Ferb waited under the individual tree and offered his brother and their guest comfortable seats beside him. Phineas retired, falling into a sit in a childlike motion. "I think I messed up, somewhere. We had this great plan today..."

Vanessa loosened the collar of her blouse and exhaled slowly. She watched as Phineas began plucking at blades of grass around him, fully aware of their intensifying silence. That such a talkative person would run out of words was amusing, but the thought that they were perhaps overstepping the same boundaries dropped a wad of guilt down her chest. Her father was just getting old. Lonely too, with the most visiting he ever got coming from the least expected of creatures: a platypus—no, worse, his _nemesis_, Perry... Truth was, neither of them reeled for the sake of vague escape. Each _hungered_ for the other's presence.

* * *

"...He said...I should resign." Perry took several deep breaths after the last word; the mere effort to speak it in a straight face drained him. He felt Doofenhmirtz twitch beside him, and the next second the doctor had his arm around Perry's shoulders.

"I bet the jerk didn't even ask you; he just sent you the documents right as he mentioned them," fired Heinz indignantly. When the platypus nodded, he went on, "I knew he couldn't resist. The Monobrow always does this! He could be a really selfish guy when he wants to!"

"Don't jump to conclusions like that, he was deciding for the greater good of the OWCA," replied Perry. He couldn't bring himself to mention the part about Doofenshmirtz's self-esteem.

"You're brave, you know," Heinz said, a sober mask on his face. "If anyone hurts me, I create a new Inator to destroy them. My esteem is fragile. I'm in no position to judge, but I know you're a sensitive guy too. What did you do?"

"Nothing. I went back home. After I gave you this," and Perry touched the rim of his hat, "I stayed put with my host family. The least I can thank Monogram for is that while he started taking down my equipment and the entrances to my lair—yes, I have one too," he added at the sight of the doctor's incredulous look, "he didn't rebuke our contract, from the first time he and I met."

Doofenshmirtz stared on, clueless.

"Our contract says that once I am no longer part of the agency, they'd waive all their support, legal or not. I would have to go back home...my 'real' home down under. But all they did was disconnect me to the agency. My spy watch, most importantly..." Perry sighed. He unrolled the synthetic fur covering the small watch at his left wrist; the screen was only a little less lifeless than him. "They cut me off, in short. But at least I'm still with my family. Only, they're the ones now planning my rendezvous with destiny."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Perry shot a grin at the doctor. He got up, took his fedora in his right hand, and flung it toward a robotic arm randomly hanging from the ceiling. The hat flew like a boomerang, cutting seamlessly through the metal, before angling back to him; he leapt to catch it and landed with it perched once again on his head. Doofenshmirtz broke into applause.

"We've been at this for years," explained Perry, bowing. "The only thing that's changed is the date. You know what I mean? I don't feel...'old'. Not the least bit. Maybe my eyes play tricks on me, or my hands lose their grip at times. But I've never felt different, or better, in my life! The years don't matter to me. But my owners were being kind, just a little too much, when they started to consider my age. They're great inventors like you, believe it or not...but they're just boys. They don't see me as an agent; I'm just a 'regular' platypus to them."

"Then they're missing out on a great part of you," offered Heinz. "Family is supposed to be the most important thing, so it hurts more when they shove you away."

"I understand."

"I know you wouldn't think I do, but know what I'm saying. What's left of my family has only grown more distant. Vanessa, for the most part..."

* * *

"Today we had this great plan to take him, Ferb, and me on a worldwide roundtrip, with the final stop in Australia. Platypuses abound there; we thought that place could be more of home for him, and he could spend time there with his own kind. Then, just like that, he disappears! It did use to be a habit of his to go missing once a day... Although 'habit' seems to be a word we should start prohibiting. We've been relying on mere habit, assuming he'd always come home anyway."

Ferb indicated agreement with the least of a nod. Phineas went on, "It could've been awesome. We built this ten-in-one, all-purpose plane designed for sustained flight, with special features for platypus passengers. You know how they are. Highly-specialized only for their natural environment. Ultra-sensitive beaks, with which they can expertly navigate underwater with all their other senses closed. And now that he's...old..."

Vanessa rolled her eyes playfully. Despite the evident difficulty with the word 'old', they had no _inkling_ about Perry's _real_ life. Those were basic platypus facts, but what about the double-life? What about dealing with her father day after day, the reason for his daily absence? "So you're inventors too," was all she said.

"Why, yes, yes we are," Ferb winked, flashing the thumbs-up sign, and Phineas asked the consequent question, "Why'd you say 'too'?"

_Well, my dad's a self-proclaimed evil scientist, but I'm not about to say that._ But before she could restrain herself, the words were spilling out of her, "I know this guy. He likes to think he's an evil genius." _Alright, that's enough..._ "As if that weren't bad enough, he fails more often than he breathes, and in most occasions—" _That's_ _really enough! Get a grip_— "it involves public humiliation."

_Ugh! _The string of random curses in her mind successfully blocked out their inquisitive stares.

"Cool—"

"No, not cool," Vanessa interrupted, "he's...my dad."

She flipped her hair off her shoulders absently, allowing it to fall neatly behind her back. "All I've ever done was to run away from his antics. Today, I saw him cry over one of his only friends for the first time. He's been behaving a little too oddly these days, but knowing him, nothing is too odd—just the things that aren't. Age...makes people turn into useless things. When habit becomes the habit, we fail."

A dark blue car swept past their view, and the familiar car horn sent Vanessa to her feet.

"Just in case you were about to argue with my statement, I was talking about me, not my dad," Vanessa explained, tracing the car's path with her eyes. _Mom!_ She knew she was about to drop Linda—_Linda Flynn, their mother_—off. She wondered, briefly, whether her father was in custody of their 'missing' pet by now. A gut reaction churned into existence. _They've lost their chance...Dad has Perry._

"Mom!" she cried, running off toward the driveway, where Linda and Charlene were exchanging farewells.

Phineas, mimicking Ferb, stared after the young woman. "I think you like her, Ferb."

His brother showed no reaction. "I think we were jerks for even _thinking_ about sending Perry away. That was unfair of us," Ferb began slowly, his brows furrowed. "Nothing is inconsequential—she's right: age turns people into useless things..."

"When habit becomes habit..." Phineas hung his head. "Ferb, I don't think Perry's coming back."

* * *

The best time for the air-conditioner to give out was in the middle of Danville's metropolitan traffic peak: pre-rush hour busybodies always clogged up the highway from Maple drive to the main roads leading to DEI. A sense of anxiety, as well as perspiration, gripped Vanessa, but she ignored it and gripped the steering wheel on her mother's car harder.

"What's this about, honey?" asked Charlene simply, yet already the trace of adult sobriety coated the worry in her voice.

Vanessa ignored her too. _You wouldn't understand. It's a post-puberty, teenage thing I have to do before my conscience lets me off_, she thought to herself. A small van cut into her lane just as the green light blinked into red. Braking, she cried, "Dammit! There are driving laws around here, pal!"

Her mother disapprovingly clicked her tongue.

"Yeah," Vanessa interrupted before Charlene could begin. "I know. The language. Don't talk to strangers. Careful with your stuff. Double-check everything. Be nice..." she sighed, and she lowered her head as she continued, "but most importantly, don't hate your father." Heavy breathing followed the last phase, and both women eyed each other. "Mom, that's why I have to talk to him now."

Meanwhile the van made great headway towards the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated building. All Monogram, the current driver, had to do was tack a fake press ID on the windshield and top the rickety vehicle with police sirens.

"I can't believe you let the Doof step outside his home to kidnap Agent P!" he bellowed at the cowering intern in the backseat. "I put you in charge of the surveillance videos; but somehow he still managed to slip under your nostril-less nose!"

"I was trying, sir, but monitoring all sixty-four cameras is quite a task," Carl answered, sweating nervously. "I'm sorry, sir. You could have helped with at least one or two."

"Don't tell me how to do my job—that's my job! When we get there, all you have to do is locate Agent P. I'll take care of the rest. Try not to mess _that_ up, got it?"

"What are you going to do, sir?"

"Just the formalities," Monogram finished smugly. "I'm going to arrest him once and for all."

* * *

"But that's beside the point; I earned the unfairness I'm getting. You, however, don't deserve the treatment your family is giving you!" Heinz continued yelling, "Which is more important, those unknowing 'owners' of yours, or me? _I_ see you for who you really are! _I_ know you more than anyone else, more than that blasted Monobrow!"

"Heinz..." Perry began. "You and I are more alike than either of us know. But the full force of time is pushing savagely..."

"And you know I'm always there for you, right? Like you are for me."

Perry hastily gulped down what had almost turned into a tear. He hoped direly that Doofenshmirtz saw none of it, yet at the same time prayed more fervently than he had done his entire life that the doctor, like Ferb a few nights ago, would open his arms and grant him a hug. And not a hug where he was merely a mindless recipient. His own arms had a purpose too. He trembled in an attempt to block out the yearning, but alas, the tear fell.

"M-maybe you can hold on to this for me," he said, his voice cracking. He handed over the fedora. "And don't give it back. I want you to have it."

"Perry," Heinz involuntarily let out. He accepted the gift. His eyes watered. "This means a lot to me."

The action was quick, and the gratitude, infinite. Entire months seemed to pass in a span of three seconds, that is, the course of one pendulum swing of Doofenshmirtz's strong, thin arms. The rhythmic surges of both their heartbeats were soothing. Within seconds, Perry felt himself letting go of his concerns, letting go of his consciousness. Soon the little animal fell into a deep, happy..._permanent_ sleep.

_

* * *

_

_There's his room. And...that's his voice..._

"Perry the platypus? Perry...?"

The corridor was empty when the panting Vanessa scrambled out of the fire escape, through which thirty floors were scaled in a span of five minutes. She knocked quietly, and after she inched her face through the tiniest crack on the door—

_That's him_, she sighed, almost in relief.

_And that's...Perry...in his arms..._

"Dad," she called. Her black leather boots made short, tapping sounds as she picked her way across the household mess that surrounded them.

Then came a blast of sirens, tens of hundreds that neighbors could surely not ignore, sirens in different volumes and frequencies. Sirens filled the air while a man in his late forties and dressed in military fatigue ambled into the room, followed by a timid-looking boy with thick, large-framed glasses.

"Doofenshmirtz! Unhand our best agent, and we'll go easy on you," warned Monogram. "Why'd you bring your daughter into this? She hates you, you know."

"Shh...he's...asleep," mumbled Heinz, cradling the armful of blue fur. He looked up. "And what best agent—the one you fired because he's too good for me? The one going through the trouble to please you, even if that meant hurting both of us?" He held Perry tighter and huddled up against the wall, as if it could hide and ultimately swallow him. He remained curled up, creasing even more the grimy, tear-stained lab coat he'd been wearing for days.

"That's enough, dad," Vanessa said. Squinting, she rounded on the major. "I don't hate him, Monobrow. The world is not about you; sometime soon, you ought to listen...even to him. Look at what you've done to—"

She turned to look at her father, but her eyes landed on Perry.

...Or what used to be Perry.

"Dad, what did you _do_?"

"Agent P!" gasped Carl.

"You've gone too far this time!" thundered Monogram, raising a badge and a pair of handcuffs. "It was Agent P who kept putting off this eventual apprehension! But it's about time the OWCA finally took you into custody, Doof—"

"Hang on," she halted him. "No one, I repeat, _no one_...makes fun of _my_ name."

Monogram wasn't awake long enough to realize she had delivered a karate kick to his head. Trembling, Carl dropped to his knees and fussed over his boss.

"You," Vanessa pointed at the intern, "Get out of my house! _Now!_"

He obeyed, or didn't know how to obey, and dragged the unconscious major out towards the elevator.

"My baby girl, you're..." the doctor piped weakly.

Vanessa ran to her father and embraced him. "Yes, I'm evil." She kissed Perry's forehead, which was surprisingly below normal body temperature. It was wrong. Wrong that he wasn't doing anything to stop her father. Wrong that this shell no longer contained the heart and soul that saved them.

"I'm sorry, dad...for everything."

Heinz freed an arm and returned the embrace. "Don't...don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

"I don't hate you, dad. You know I just say that sometimes, but I never mean it. Let me stay here; I'll help you—"

"No, Charlene won't like it. You'd better head back," he tried to smile, wiping an illegal tear brusquely with his sleeve. "Besides, I've been doing great on my own."

Vanessa shook her head. If 'doing great on his own' meant pining away, especially after Perry didn't show up, she didn't believe him. What more now? She looked at her feet, shifting her weight between them uncertainly. But there was nothing she could do. At last, looking at the limp body that was formerly Perry, she reached for the hat tightly clenched in her father's right hand and dusted it.

_Goodbye, Agent P_, she whispered.

The fedora seemed to rightly fit Heinz, ignoring its size. It was _his_ hat. Perry had given it to him.

**~~END~~**

* * *

A/N: Now you realize that summaries do serve a purpose other than say "I suck at summaries, just read the story!" The summary for this was actually quite literal, three chapters in three sentences. ;)

I'm both sad and happy to have (finally) finished this. *cries* Make no mistake, I _love_ Perry more than anyone can imagine, but deep down I'm an addicted psycho who can't write a good drama without killing off her favorite character. Of course I'm KIDDING, come on. ;)

So...how'd you, my beloved reader, like it? Please, please, please leave a review. ;D


End file.
